Patience Jonathan’s Bad English Caused By Lack Of Primary & Secondary Education” – Ali Baba

Nigerian comedian Alibaba in a recent interview on Hip TV
blasts First Lady Dame Patience Jonathan for her recent
grammatical blunder on national TV.
Ali Baba said the First Lady lacks basic education and that is why her grammar is very poor.
He further lay emphasis on the importance of Girl-Child
education in the country In his own words;

“The education of the girl child is very important because if
Patience Jonathan were educated, we will not have the problem that people think we have with her not being able to speak English”.
“Having a primary and secondary education helps a child to
develop (into) whatever the child wants to become later. It is
obvious that Patience (Jonathan) did not get any of the above, or did not get it properly”.

Some Nigerians have gone to the extent of creating a remix
video of Patience Jonathan and Patrick Obahiagbon.

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Mount Everest’s 1st Deaths Of 2014 Recorded: 12 Dead Bodies Of Killed Climbers Recovered

At least 12 Nepalese guides preparing routes up Mount Everest for commercial climbers were killed Friday by an avalanche in the most deadly mountaineering accident ever on the world’s highest peak, officials and rescuers say.
The men were among a large party of Sherpas carrying tents, food and ropes who headed out in bright sunshine in an early morning expedition ahead of the main climbing season starting later this month.
The avalanche occurred at around 6:45 am (0100 GMT) at an altitude of about 5,800 metres (19,000 feet) in an area known as the “popcorn field” which lies on the route into the treacherous Khumbu icefall.
“We have retrieved 12 bodies from the snow, we don’t know how many more are trapped underneath,” Nepal tourism ministry official Dipendra Paudel told AFP in Kathmandu.
Peak of Mount Everest

Peak of Mount Everest
Assisted by rescue helicopters, teams of climbers are still searching for survivors with at least seven people plucked alive from the ice and snow, Paudel told AFP.
A rescue team official working at the base camp of the 8,848-metre (29,029-foot) peak, Lakpa Sherpa, told AFP that the death toll could rise as high as 14.
“I have seen 11 bodies brought to the base camp, we have been told to expect three more,” the member of non-profit Himalayan Rescue Association said by telephone.
Kathmandu-based expert Elizabeth Hawley, considered the world’s leading authority on Himalayan climbing, said the avalanche was the most deadly single accident in the history of mountaineering on the peak.
The previous worst accident occurred in 1996 when eight people were killed over a two-day period during a rogue storm while attempting to climb the mountain.
That tragedy was immortalised in the best-selling book “Into Thin Air” written by US mountaineering journalist Jon Krakauer.
“This is the absolutely the worst disaster on Everest, no question,” Hawley told AFP.
Kathmandu-based climbing company Himalayan
Climbing Guides Nepal confirmed that two of their guides were among the dead and four were missing.
“When our guides left base camp, there was no
snowfall, the weather was just fantastic,” operations manager Bhim Paudel told AFP.
Dozens of guides from other companies crossed the icefall safely before the avalanche struck, Paudel said.
“We expected to follow them, we had no warning at all,” he said.
Every summer, hundreds of climbers from around the world attempt to scale peaks in the Himalayas when weather conditions are at their best.
– Risks for Sherpas –
The accident underscores the huge risks taken by
sherpa guides, who carry tents, bring food supplies, repair ladders and fix ropes to help foreign climbers who pay tens of thousands of dollars to summit the peak.
More than 300 people have died on Everest since the first successful summit by Sir Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay in 1953.
Nepal’s worst-ever climbing disaster happened in 1995 when a huge avalanche struck the camp of a Japanese trekking group near Mount Everest, killing 42 people including 13 Japanese.
The impoverished Himalayan country is home to eight of the world’s 14 peaks over 8,000 metres.
Nepal’s government has issued permits to 734 people, including 400 guides, to climb Everest this summer.
In a bid to address concerns of overcrowding on the “roof of the world”, the government earlier announced plans to double the number of climbing ropes on congested ice walls near the summit of Everest to reduce congestion and risks for climbers.
Authorities have also stationed soldiers and police at Everest base camp starting this month so climbers can approach officers in case of any trouble following a brawl between commercial climbers and Nepalese guides last year.

[AFP]

Pastor Tunde Bakare Against Anointing Oil “It’s A Mosquito Repellant Used By Jewish People”

Eloquent speaker and the founder of Latter Rain
Assembly Church, Tunde Bakare in a sermon on
Sunday morning spoke against the anointing oil.

The pastor-turned politician said anointing oil is like an insect repellant used by the Jewish people.

Hear what Pastor Tunde Bakare told his congregation today:

“I Am not against Anointing Oil. The thing is, its a
Jewish Culture. They rub it on their bodies as Protection against insects like your Mosquito Repellents. It was used extensively in the old testament for Anointing …It is the Power of GOD that Heals, not the Oil !”

According to the epistle according to Tunde Bakare, anointing oil is the same as otapiapia?

Do you agree with him?

Pastor Tunde Bakare Against Anointing Oil “It’s A Mosquito Repellant Used By Jewish People”

Eloquent speaker and the founder of Latter Rain
Assembly Church, Tunde Bakare in a sermon on
Sunday morning spoke against the anointing oil.

The pastor-turned politician said anointing oil is like an insect repellant used by the Jewish people.

Hear what Pastor Tunde Bakare told his congregation today:

“I Am not against Anointing Oil. The thing is, its a
Jewish Culture. They rub it on their bodies as Protection against insects like your Mosquito Repellents. It was used extensively in the old testament for Anointing …It is the Power of GOD that Heals, not the Oil !”

According to the epistle according to Tunde Bakare, anointing oil is the same as otapiapia?

Do you agree with him?

Nigerian Pastor Claims God Told Him To Stop Bathing 13 Years Ago (Prophet Wale Olagunji)

Believe it or not, the man pictured above hasn’t shower since 2001.
Prophet Wale Olagunju is the founder of Divine Seed Ministry in Ojoo area of Ibadan, Oyo state. People who know him said he is a very powerful prophet.
In a recent chat with City People, the prophet explain the reason for his bizarre unhygienic action.

City People Asked: Some years back, you came out that God instructed you to stop having your bath, is it true, and are you still on it?

Prophet Wale Olagunju Answered: Yes, it is 13
years now. To be precise, early 2000, the Lord told me to stop taking my bath, separate myself from my wife,and that I should stop taking all these soft drinks and wines, and since then, diligently I have observed all these things. Whoever God wants to use for certain purposes on earth, there is a serious price attached to that calling, so I believe that is the price I am paying. As I am talking to you now, I have not taken my bath.If you want me to show you evidence, I will show you. If you doubt all I am saying; I have not taken my bath since 2001 till this moment.

Very strange….How is his wife coping? Na wa o

This Ibadan city must be a very special one ‘cos
strange things happen there.

Photos: Obama Goes Shopping In New York

American President Obama yesterday went on a shopping spree in New York city.
He was spotted at a Gap store doing shopping for his wife and kids.
Obama halted his motorcade at the store at East 42nd and Third Avenue as he hit the Big Apple on a fundraising swing.
The president selected sweaters for his daughters Malia and Sasha and a blue workout jacket for his wife Michelle, before delivering a glowing assessment of Gap bosses, who recently decided to hike the store’s minimum wage to $10 dollars.

Pastor Chris Oyakhilome Supports Abortion For Rape Victims

The founder of Christ Embassy Church, Pastor Chris O has voiced out his support for victims of rape.
During the communion service this past Sunday, he was asked if a baby conceived by rape should be aborted, he said the decision is up to the victim. He however didn’t condemn it.
He cited the case of King David and Bethsheda in the bible. Pastor Chris Oyakhilome said the child delivered as a result of David’s sin died despite his
prayer and fasting.

Hear Pastor Chris in his own words:

“No child should be brought into this world by force, if a lady has been raped, it is left for her to make a decision of whether to keep the baby or not. If you have never been raped or someone close to you haven’t, you may not agree with this statement.It is
never mentioned anywhere in the bible, to keep a child from a woman who was raped!”

Do you think victims of rape should abort their babies?

Photos: Woman With World’s Most Expensive Body, Transgender Amanda Lepore

At the age of 19, popular party celeb Amanda Lepore did a sex change surgery that transformed him from male to female.
According to the now busty blonde, the sex change surgery was the most painful thing she has ever done.
Transgendered Amanda Lepore has been tagged the woman with world’s most expensive body.
She has invested so much in plastic surgery to transform her face from man to woman, she did 3 expensive breast augmentations and butt implants.
Amanda even had her bottom ribs broken so she could achieve a smaller waist. Plus multiple nips and tucks, 5ft 2in Ms Lepore boasts a perfect hourglass figure measuring 38-22-38.
On her face, she did lip injections, fillers, botox and nose surgery. Her forehead was lifted and her hairline was lowered through expensive surgical operations.
When asked how much her cosmetic work has cost in total, the busty blonde declined to provide an answer, merely stating:
‘There is a reason I am labeled ‘The Most Expensive Body On Earth’.

Amanda’s father, an Italian-American chemical engineer, and her mother, a German-American housewife who was schizophrenic and spent much time in mental institutions, both found it difficult to accept their daughter’s transgender identity at first. They refused to take her to ballet lessons and stopped her from growing her hair long but eventually, they supported her transition.

See more photos of Amanda Lepore below:

Oh my! She looks a bit scary to me….How person come resemble lion like this.

MFM Church To Close Down All Beer Parlours In Ogba Lagos With Crusade Prayers

A power-packed crusade aimed at shutting down all beer parlours in ogba and its environ will kick start next week.
The crusade organizers, Mountain Of Fire and Miracles Ministries, MFM said in a press briefing yesterday that they plan to close down all the drinking joints in Ogba, Lagos after the crusade.

“We want to close down beer parlours in Ogba environment.
We want to convert beer parlours into our praying centres,” said Pastor Aderemi Oseni, the Regional Overseer of MFM Region 32 Ogba, Lagos, who addressed journalists in his church.
“At the end of this crusade, the kingdom of Satan would have been completely depopulated, ” he said, adding that the crusade will take place between 19 and 21 December at MFM Regional
Headquarters at 9, Ajayi Road, Ogba.
“We are worried about the extent of crime going on in Nigeria presently and we desire as a church of God to see as much as we can in assisting the government of this country in reducing crime in our own environment,” Oseni said, adding that crime can be reduced through evangelism.

Oseni said it was an open secret that major streets in Ogba have been converted into shrines.
“I am aware of the fact that powers of darkness have converted all our major roads to shrines in this environment. We want to pull down all these (shrines),” he said, adding that they are militating against the progress of mankind.
The theme of the crusade, overcoming the storm, was inspired from Mark 4: 19 and aims at helping Nigerians overcome their personal storms or challenges, Oseni said.
“This environment is loaded with a lot of potentials but majority of the potentials are going through a lot of storm,” he said, adding that after the crusade the “whole of Ogba will be delivered from every storm.”
Women are not, however, allowed to wear trousers for the crusade, Oseni said, explaining that it was against the scriptures for women to dress like men.

This sounds funny to me!

There is nothing impossible for God to do plus faith makes people to dare the impossible.

Chris Okotie Defends “Catholics Are Going To Hell Fire” Sermon On Twitter

The founder and the Pastor in charge of Household of God, a pentecostal church in Lagos Nigeria, Rev Chris Okotie has come open days after he gave a controversial sermon about the
Catholic church and Pope Francis.
In a sermon he preached this past Sunday, the eloquent preacher said his church members should pray for Catholic members all over the world because they’re worshipping satan
He also said their leader, Pope Francis is an antichrist.

Read details of his sermon here.

Few hours ago, he took to Twitter to defend his sermon saying truth is bitter.

Check out what Chris Okotie said:

Abdulsamad Rabiu Richer Than Aliko Dangote – Africa’s Richest Billionaire Emerges

Highly celebrated Nigerian businessman, Alhaji Aliko Dangote is about to lose his position to another wealthy Nigerian business tycoon.
The man in question is Abdulsamad Rabiu, a 53-year-old Nigerian businessman who followed his dad’s footsteps by venturing into importing business.
Rabiu started importing commodities like rice, Sugar and cement, etc in the early 80s and today he is the founder of BUA Group, a company that makes $1.9 billion yearly in revenues.
BUA also specializes in Sugar refinery, flour mills production and vegetable oil processing.
Rabiu’s company also operates the BUA Cement I, a 200-meter long vessel designed for heavy loads. It is Nigeria’s first floating terminal. He is already touted to unseat Aliko Dangote,the current Africa’s richest man.
According to a recent report by Forbes Africa, Rabiu has assets and business interests that is about to make him Africa’s richest man.
In addition to his assets in the BUA Group, Rabiu owns property in Britain, worth $62 million, and in South Africa,worth $19 million. Among his properties is a house in Gloucester Square in London worth nearly $16 million and a penthouse at The One & Only Hotel, in Cape Town, worth
$12.6 million. Rabiu’s taste for good living is plain to see; he has bought homes from Eaton Square to Avenue Road, also known as Millionaires’ Row. Rabiu jets around the world on an eight-seater Gulfstream G550 worth $44.9 million, powered by a Rolls-Royce BR710 turbofan engine, as well as an $18-million Legacy 600 aircraft.“
Hmmm it’s time for Aliko Dangote to sit tight
because Abdulsamad Rabiu is about to overtake him.
Believe it or not many silent billionaires still exist in Nigeria today. It’s a land flowing with milk and honey for people who have the strength to start small.

Woman Delivers Baby On Arik Airplane Enroute London: Mother In Labour Forces Plane To Make Emergency Landing

An Arik Air flight with over 100 passengers en route to London Sunday was forced to make an emergency landing in Palmas,Spain, as a woman went into labour and gave birth while the aircraft was airborne.
The pilot was said to have requested the emergency landing on the advice of two doctors who were on board the aircraft and had helped the mother deliver the baby. After the birth of the child, the mother, whose identity has so far been withheld, was said to have experienced excessive hemorrhaging, necessitating the emergency landing.
At the time of this report, both mother and child were said to have been stable but were left behind in Palmas for monitoring by medical personnel, while the flight continued on its journey to London.
On enquiry, THISDAY learnt that the airline was trying to ascertain if the woman had presented a false medical report from her doctor on the true duration of her pregnancy or she had gone into premature labour while on board the flight.
Women with full term pregnancies are not allowed to travel by air, according to International Civil Aviation Organisation (ICAO) regulations. As such, intending pregnant passengers are required to present medical reports certifying that they are less than 32 weeks pregnant before they are allowed to fly.
A source said the airline was carrying out a full-scale investigation to ascertain the genuineness of the medical report presented by the woman. Arik Air’s management said yesterday that if it is discovered that the woman was given a false report to enable her fly, it would file a special complaint against the doctor who had issued the medical report to the Nigeria Medical Association (NMA) for endangering her life and that of the baby, as well that of other passengers on board the flight.
THISDAY learnt that when the passenger went into labour, the cabin crew had asked that doctors on board the flight to identify themselves. Following the announcement, two of the passengers came forward, saying they were doctors and assisted in the delivery of the baby.
Normally, a source disclosed that in the few instances where women have given birth on board, the aircraft would continue its flight to its final destination. However, the Arik flight was forced to make an emergency landing following the advice of the doctors that the woman was bleeding excessively.
But the airline did not know whether the decision to make an emergency landing by the doctors was right, as it was not ascertained if the medical personnel were O&G doctors (obstetrics and gynaecology) who might have been better at handling the emergency birth.

[THIS DAY LIVE]

Nigerians Not Qualified To Apply For US Visa, DV Lottery 2015 – See Ineligible Countries List

For those who are not aware, the US DV visa lottery for this year has disqualified some countries that normally qualify.
According to the official instruction at Nigerians http://travel.state.gov/pdf_DV_2015_Instructions.pdf, major countries
like Nigeria, Canada, Jamaica and others who used to qualify prior to 2015 are not eligible to apply anymore because over 50,000 immigrants from those countries have moved to the US
in the past 5 years.

Countries That Didn’t Qualify For DV Lottery 2015
Here is an official list of countries that didn’t qualify to apply for DV lottery 2015


    Nigeria
    Pakistan
    Peru
    Philippines
    South Korea
    United Kingdom (Northern Ireland exempted)
    Vietnam
    Colombia
    Dominican Republic
    Ecuador
    El Salvador
    Haiti
    India
    Jamaica
    Mexico
    Bangladesh
    Brazil
    Canada
    China

Please keep this in mind before you download or buy the application form.

Nigerian Atheist Calls Christians Stupid: Is Yemisi Ilesanmi An Antichrist

This article was brought to our attention by a liberal reader this afternoon and since then we have done a series of research on this woman a UK-based Nigerian atheist identified as Yemisi
Ilesanmi.
In a recent interview with TELL magazine, Yemisi Ilesanmi, an openly bisexually woman expressed her sentiment over some negative response she received from Christians all over the world.
She took to her blog on Saturday to express her disappointment.
Yemisi Ilesanmi even went to the extent of bashing Abuja based Pastor Fatoyinbo over an alleged affair he had with Eze Walter.

Read what she wrote on her website;
I already know that many Nigerian Christians are really stupid; I just wish I could get over the severity of their stupidity and the glee with which they display it. My recent interview in a National Nigerian Newspaper, TELL Magazine, has given them an opportunity to display their ignorance, bigotry and delusion on various Naija blogs that shared the interview.

Reading the various comments many Nigerians left on this blog and this blog, amongst many others that reblogged the interview, has left me wondering if Nigerians hate Atheists more than gays!
Warning, if you are likely to want to gouge your eyes out when you read homophobic, ignorant comments, I’d advice you steer clear of the comment sections on these blogs.

Unfortunately, these religious believers and die-hard homophobes are not content with displaying their Homophobia,Biphobia, Transphobia and God delusions on the comment sections of these blogs. They are also very keen to share it with
me on my facebook inbox and wall.

Many Nigerian religious believers are stupid enough to think invoking the wrath of their Skydaddy on me is scary.
They are bigoted enough to insist on sharing their imaginary God with me.
They bombard my inbox with silly scriptural verses as if quoting from their bible or Quran somehow makes their God real. In that case Batman is as real as their God; after all I can quote from Batman series.
Nigerian Christians throw tantrums because I do not wish to play with their imaginary Holy Trinity friends; God, Jesus and
Holy Ghost. How very childish!
And to crown their stupidity, they leave ignorant, bigoted,hateful comments on my posts and interviews and then go ahead to request that I add them as friends on Facebook! Really, how much more stupid can they get! I bet like Pastor Biodun
Fatoyinbo did to Ese Walters, these bigoted religious homophobes want to show me a level of grace I cannot comprehend. ROTFLMAO!
My wall is not a hangout for Homophobes, Biphobes,Transphobes or adults who insist on sharing their Skydaddy with me. I am highly allergic to ignorance; therefore I do not accept friendship requests from deluded hate filled beings. My FB wall is set to public, people are free to enjoy the posts and get enlightened but they should know that leaving homophobic,biphobic or transphobic comment or proselytizing on my wall
will get their ignorant ass blocked.
Some bloggers have started calling her antichrist.
I hear she is a single mother… Na wa o.
There is no one God can’t change. Keep her in your prayers

Untold Secrets Of Wealthy Nigerians: 5 Ways To Become A Billionaire In Nigeria

Here is another thought provoking article by columnist Femi Aribasala.

With only some 50 years of independent national existence,Nigeria is a country reeking with “new money.” The overwhelming proportion of the millionaires and billionaires in the country are “nouveau-riche;” they became rich literally
“overnight.” We are talking of people whose wealth does not go beyond a generation.

Indeed, the fantastic wealth of Nigerian billionaires like Femi Otedola scarcely goes beyond ten/fifteen years. Not only does Nigeria’s wealthy few have a short history, they often have a short future as well. The money comes “miraculously” and goes just as “miraculously.”
In my youth, S.B. Bakare was the celebrated Nigerian tycoon.
Highlife stars and juju musicians eulogised him in their records.
But ask a young Nigerian today who S.B. Bakare is, and I can bet my bottom dollar he has never heard of him.
S.B. has fallen off the radar and so has his wealth. It is not identifiable by any major industry or enterprise. His descendants may still be in litigation over the dregs of his estate,but undoubtedly it is nothing to write home about again.
Certainly, nobody is singing about S.B. Bakare today. There are now new pretenders to his throne.

New dawn
Time was when wealthy Nigerians built something, developed something, or made something. At that time, the rich were truly
captains of industry. Alhaji Sanusi Dantata made his fortune in the era of the groundnut pyramids in the North; buying and shipping them for export.
Sir Odumegwu Ojukwu had Nigeria’s largest fleet of inter-city “mammy-wagons.” He also imported “panla” (dried fish) on a large scale. Sir Mobolaji Bank-Anthony had a tanker fleet and a pioneering charter airline. Emmanuel Akwiwu, hauled oil-rigs and supplies for British Petroleum. Chief Timothy Adeola Odutola produced bicycle tires for the growing army of Nigerian bike-riders.
But thanks to oil, much of Nigerian wealth is no longer the product of such ventures. Yes, we have billionaires like Ibrahim Dasuki and Mike Adenuga who can still be rightfully described
as highly enterprising. But even more significantly, we have tycoons who came into wealth through “wuru-wuru” and “mago-mago.” These men are hardly Nigeria’s Bill Gates.
On the contrary, they don’t have a clue what to do with their dubious wealth, and they are ignorant about wealth-creation. As such, they add little of value to the Nigerian project. Their praises may be sung today by their horde of parasitical hangers-
on, but they will not be remembered for good when they are gone. As mysteriously as their wealth materialised, so will it vanish.
These men became rich through some of the following tried and tested methods, which can be relied upon to lead to one’s inclusion in the Nigerian Book of Irrelevant Rich Men. If you
want to get rich quick, here is the Nigerian blueprint. But please, don’t tell anyone I “wiki-leaked” this highly-classified national
secret to you.

Rob a bank
This strategy has gone through some transition. Bank-robbers used to be men of the underworld who held banks hostage at gunpoint and then made off with the cash. However, it was soon recognised that this approach has distinct disadvantages.
You might get arrested and jailed. Even worse, you might get shot. It also became apparent that banks carry limited amounts of cash.
Therefore, a successful bank robbery of this violent kind might only land you perhaps 50 million naira tops, which is not even enough to buy or build a house in Banana Island. There is a
better way to rob a bank with far limited risk. Simply establish a bank.
When you establish a bank, you can rob the bank every day without a gun. When people deposit money in your bank, they don’t know that they are handing over their life-savings to a thief. You then rob the bank you establish in a number of imaginative ways.
For example, you can lend money to your bank and then charge it a very high interest-rate. Better still, you can borrow billions from your bank and simply forget to pay it back. Or, you can
use the money deposited in your bank to buy houses and then rent them out as branches to your bank at exorbitant prices.
This approach is guaranteed to make you a few billion naira until the EFCC policemen come calling. When they do, you can quickly fall sick, spend a few months in Deluxe Hospital Hotel
and then relocate to your village to enjoy your wealth, never to be heard of again.

Join the PDP.
This one is a sure banker. As a member of the greatest party in the history of Africa, you will be given a credit-card to spend Nigeria’s oil wealth. If you are not getting enough attention in the party, make a lot of noise. Abuse Tinubu on the pages of the newspapers and call Buhari an idiot.
Insist that Goodluck Jonathan should not only run for re-election unopposed in 2015, there should be a constitutional amendment to make him a life-president. This is a tell-tale sign
that you are hungry; and the powers-that-be will soon invite you to “come and chop.”
As a distinguished member of this great party, the opportunities open for you to set yourself up for life are considerable. For example, you can start collecting billions for petroleum subsidy and simply not import any petrol whatsoever. You can get the government to change all car license-plates nationwide; and then become the sole supplier of the new license-plates.
You can ask the president to make you the sole importer and distributor of diesel for the entire country. Of course, this might also entail that you become the chairman of his re-election campaign, to which you duly make a handsome contribution.
Alternatively, you can ask to be chairman of the Nigerian Ports Authority.
Nobody will bat an eyelid when, within a matter of months, you have a fleet of cars, have two or three houses in Asokoro, and own four hotels in Dubai.
You may even kick out your wife and marry a fourteen-year-old “Suzie” befitting your new status. You have arrived as one of Nigeria’s celebrated rich men. But keep your eyes on the ball.
Don’t get distracted or carried away. The enemies of Mr. President must always remain your enemies.

Start a mega-church
This one is pure genius. Peradventure you lose your job or fall on hard times. Don’t go into depression. Just start a church. Make it a purpose-built church. Think of something that men need. Tell them you have the anointing to provide it. Tell them whoever wants to be a billionaire should come to your church.
Start a few of your messages with “Thus says the Lord.” Then teach your congregation the everlasting principles of sowing and reaping.
Make sure they understand that if they really want God to bless them financially, they first have to give you as much money as possible. Create a special prayer group for millionaires and
billionaires. That way, if they get any new government contract they will attribute it to the efficacy of your prayers and credit something big into your bank account. Tell everybody to give
you their “first-fruits.”
That is a code word for their entire January salaries. Then come up with imaginative offerings to collect, such as “prophet’s offering,” (you, of course, being the prophet); “Father, Son and
Holy Ghost offerings;” “Jesus will do it offering.”
Very soon, you will be flying your own private jet to preach your gospel in Ilesha; you will be wearing white Armani suits and jerry-curling your hair; you will be collecting gate-fees for new years’ eve services; billionaire thieves and robbers will be queuing up to see your private-secretary on the Lagos-Ibadan expressway. In short, you will be living large. For good measure, you will also be slapping demons out of poor bewitched damsels with impunity.

Become a mule
There is high demand for this job. There are many politicians and men of timber and caliber looking for mules; men who can keep stolen money for them, or smuggle it to safe havens abroad. This is a highly lucrative job because for every ten billion naira you smuggle, you can pocket one billion. Don’t get greedy and come to the conclusion that you can make off with the entire loot.
That is a sure way to have assassins on your tail. Before they kill you, they will first break your legs. If you are caught while smuggling money abroad, you can easily escape and come back home dressed as a woman. Then you can get a national merit
award.
If you are a mule for a president or a governor, you are set up for life. You will get 24 hours military protection so that no petty thief can come near you. You will get to travel all over the world. You will get free medical check-ups, so that you don’t just fall down one day and die.
That would be disastrous, especially if your sponsor does not know exactly where you kept his loot, or if he does not have the password to the secret account you opened for it in the Bahamas
in the name of Ali Baba.

Obituary
I remember the story of a former Nigerian Head of State who allegedly kept a billion dollars with a mule. Then the mule had a stroke. Every effort was made to get him to say just a few words, namely the number of the account where the loot was stashed; but to no avail.
After a few months, the man died. This “national” calamity has prompted the review of the conditions of service of mules.
There are now two new, strictly prohibited, clauses. Mules must not have strokes, and under no circumstances should a mule presume to die. If he does, his generations yet unborn will suffer for it.

(P.S./N.B. If you have perfected other Nigerian approaches to quick wealth than these, don’t hesitate to let me know. I promise to keep the matter strictly confidential.)

[Article authored by Femi Aribisala culled from Vanguard]

N320M Bugatti Veyron Car Spotted In Abuja (Photo)

One of the most expensive luxury cars in the world, Bugatti Veyron has been spotted in Abuja once again.
The wonder on wheels attracted passers by as the owner/driver tries to inflate the tires.
Just this last year, another one was spotted on the streets of Abuja.
Bugatti Veyron costs a whopping N320 Million and for maintenance, it has to be flown abroad.
Plenty money dey for this country o!

Article:Jesus Is Not A Christian

By Femi Aribisala If Jesus had come today instead of 2,000 years ago, Christian pastors and bishops would also have killed him.
A man travelling from Jerusalem to Jericho was attacked by armed-robbers, stripped of his belongings and left lying on the road half-dead. God’s providence ensured that first a priest, and then a Levite, passed by. But instead of helping the dying man; both of them quickly moved to the other side and went away. Finally, a Samaritan came
along. Unlike the priest and the Levite, he had compassion on the injured man, bound up his wounds, took him to the hospital and
paid for his medical expenses.

The Good Samaritan
Jesus’ story of the Good Samaritan is very deliberate. It is incredible how, as Christians, we still fail to understand its full implications. The first mistake we make is in the identity of the Good Samaritan.
When we situate the story in the contemporary setting (as we should with all scripture), we assume that the Good Samaritan is a Christian. However, Jesus deliberately excludes that possibility by providing two characters clearly representative of the Christians of today.
The priest is easily identifiable as today’s pastor, while the Levite is easily today’s Christian layman.
Who then is the Good Samaritan? Let me repeat this for emphasis: the Good Samaritan cannot be a Christian. The Christian is already adequately represented. The Good Samaritan is Jesus himself. Jesus’ story eloquently sets forth the goodness and kindness of Christ our Saviour towards sinful, miserable and defenceless humanity. The thief came to steal, kill and destroy, but Christ came to give life and to give it abundantly. (John 10:10).
But there is the rub. If Jesus is the Good Samaritan then Jesus is not a Jew; for Samaritans were not accepted as Jews. If Jesus is the Good Samaritan, then Jesus is a Samaritan. If Jesus is not a Jew but a Samaritan, then Jesus cannot be a Christian,for it is the Jew who represents the Christian of today.

Jesus killers
By the time some Jews observed Jesus, they assumed he was not a Jew. In the first place, he refused to be a disciple of Moses but claimed instead to have come to fulfil the law. He did not obey the letter of Jewish laws but claimed to comply with its spirit. He insisted pharisaic religious tradition was old wine which could not be put into the new bottles he provided for the new wine of the New Testament. (Matthew 9:17). He prefaced a lot of his sermons with the statement: “You have heard that it was said to those of old… but I say.” (Matthew 5:27-28).
Therefore, some Jews insisted Jesus was not Jewish. As a matter of fact, their position was that he was a closet Samaritan: “Then the Jews answered and said to him, “Do we not say rightly that you are a Samaritan and have a demon?” Jesus answered, “I do not have a demon; but I honour my Father, and you dishonour me.” (John 8:48-49). Note that Jesus did not contest the charge that he was a Samaritan. But he took great exception to the allegation that he had a demon.
But if Jesus identified with the Samaritans and not with the Jews, then it becomes clear he would not identify with most of the Christians of today. In fact, let me be so bold as to say that if Jesus were in the flesh today he would not be a Christian. If Jesus had come today instead of 2,000 years ago, Christian pastors and bishops would also have killed him. Like he did our forefathers, Jesus would also have exposed our ungodliness to public ridicule. Religious irrelevancies So if Jesus would not have been a Christian,what would he have been? He would have simply been Jesus without any specific religious affiliation. Today, Jesus has been replaced by theology, but the real Jesus was not religious. Jesus established no religious institution when he was on earth.
Indeed, if Jesus were to show up physically on earth today, most Christians would not recognise him even as the Jews did not. If he came as a woman, we would not recognise him. If he smoked cigarettes, we would not recognise him. If he drank whisky, we would not recognise him. If he wore earrings and a nose ring, we would not recognise him. If he spoke Pidgin English, we would not recognise him. Since he did not wear trousers, we would be contemptuous of him. We would disqualify him by religious irrelevancies instead of identifying him by his fruits.
When Jesus asked the lawyer to identify the neighbour of the man who fell among thieves, the man wisely did not say it was the Samaritan. If he had said that, he would have been wrong. Instead, he correctly defined him by his fruit. He said: “He who showed mercy on him.” He who showed mercy on him could be anybody, Christian or non-Christian, as long as he believed in Jesus and produced the fruits of his righteousness.

Merciless Christians
What then does the story of the Good Samaritan mean if, indeed, the priest and the Levite represent today’s Christians? It means that, prophetically, it is the Christians of today who have no mercy. We despise unbelievers, certain they are going to hell.
We speak disparagingly of them. We condemn sinners on grounds they are ungodly. We stone them because they are caught in adultery. We fail to appreciate that they are hapless travellers on the road of life who have been attacked by spiritual armed-robbers and left for dead. We conveniently forget that we used to be in the same position until we were rescued by the grace of God.
Therefore, “God is not a Christian,” declared Reverend Desmond Tutu. “We are supposed to proclaim the God of love, but we have been guilty as Christians of sowing hatred and suspicion; we commend the one whom we call the Prince of Peace, and yet as Christians we have fought more wars than we care to remember. We have claimed to be a fellowship of compassion and caring and sharing, but as Christians we often sanctify sociopolitical systems that belie this, where the rich grow ever richer and the poor grow ever poorer.”
One thing is certain. Both the offending priest and the Levite must have had “compelling” reasons for not attending to the man dying on the roadside. They probably could not stop because they were in a hurry to attend a bible study. The priest decided that the best thing to do was to pray for the man when he got to church. The Levite was hurrying to get to a meeting
of the Pentecostal Fellowship of Nigeria and could not afford to be late.
Jesus’ parable “kills” the self-righteous believer who thinks he is justified by calling himself a Christian and by going regularly to church. He alerts us to the danger of assuming we are heaven-bound because of our observance of certain religious rites.
True Christianity is not legalistic. The love of our neighbour is the emblem of our being Christ’s disciples.

“Dear friends, let us practice loving each
other, for love comes from God and those who are loving and kind show that they are the children of God.” (1 John 4:7).

This entry was posted in Article of Faith by
adekunle.

Unborn Babies Can Show Pain In The Womb

New research into the facial expressions of unborn babies could provide doctors with another index of the health of a foetus.
Unborn babies practise facial expressions showing pain while they are in the womb, a study has claimed.
Researchers from Durham and Lancaster Universities say a foetus’ ability to show pain through facial expressions is a developmental process which helps the unborn baby prepare for life after birth.
The research was carried out by creating scans of 15 healthy foetuses, and could give doctors another index of the health of an unborn baby.
The study showed a foetus is capable of making simple one-dimensional expressions at 24 weeks,such as the ability to move the lips to form a smile.
By the time a mother is 36 weeks into her pregnancy, a foetus can perform complex multi-dimensional expressions which can be recognised as showing pain.
Lead researcher Dr Nadja Reissland, of Durham University’s Department of Psychology, said: “It is vital for infants to be able to show pain as soon as they are born so that they can communicate any distress or pain they might feel to their carers.
“Our results show that healthy foetuses ‘learn’ to combine the necessary facial movements before they are born.
“This suggests that we can determine the normal development of facial movements and potentially identify abnormal development too.
This could then provide a further medical indication of the health of the unborn baby.”
The study is due to be published in the academic journal PLOS ONE.

27 week old fetus showing pain expression

27 week old fetus showing pain expression

The research could give doctors another index of the health of a foetus

The research could give doctors another index of the health of a foetus

Former IT Specialist Claims To Be Jesus Reborn

Alan John Miller, known as AJ, runs a religious movement in Kingaroy, Queensland, and claims to have memories of the crucifixion.
A man claiming to be Jesus is gaining followers and causing concern amongst cult experts in Australia.
Former IT specialist Alan John Miller, or AJ as he prefers to be known, runs a religious movement known as the Divine Truth from his home near the small town of Kingaroy in the state of Queensland.
Mr Miller claims that not only is he Christ, but his partner, Australian Mary Luck, is in fact Mary Magdalene, who according to the Bible was present at the crucifixion.
He told Sky News: “I have very clear memories of the crucifixion, but it wasn’t as harrowing for me as it was for others like Mary who was present.
“When you are one with God you are not in a state of fear, and you have quite good control over your body’s sensations and the level of pain that you absorb from your body.”
Mr Miller holds seminars near his home and also travels around the world teaching people how to have a personal relationship with God, often by delving deep into their emotions.
Dozens of his followers are understood to have bought properties in the area to be closer to him.
After his crucifixion the Australian claims he entered the spirit world where he met Plato, Socrates, popes and presidents.
He also says he remembers performing miracles.
He said: “I did resurrect quite a number of people … including a friend of mine Lazarus, who most people know is mentioned in the Bible.”
Whilst critics dismiss his claims the seminars attract large groups of people, up to 150 a time.
British woman Louise “Luli” Faver, 39, is a former neuroscientist who has given up her career to be closer to the couple.
“It’s just nice to instead of being surrounded by people who think you are nuts, to be surrounded by people who understand what you are going through and the difficulties of trying to deal with all the emotional stuff,” she said.
She believes AJ Miller has helped her become happier and more fulfilled in life.
George Hamel has left behind a business and his wife in California to be closer to Mr Miller and his teachings. He firmly believes Mr Miller is Jesus Christ and insists there’s nothing sinister about him.
“It’s natural that people form fears when they don’t know about something,” he said.
“Anyone who has a chance to look into it aren’t going to find anything too upsetting.”
Some, however, are concerned – like the Rev David Millikan, who has met AJ Miller and has studied cults for 30 years.
He said: “The danger is you’ll be drawn closer and closer into his web to a point that you lose access to your social life, you spend all your money, you’ll have the curses of all your family ringing in your ears and you may well lose your relationship.”
But Mr Miller says he does not demand anything of those who come and listen to him speak. He claims donations are welcome, but not obligatory.
He refutes any suggestion that he forces anyone to do anything they are uncomfortable with.
“All we do is present seminars and answer people’s questions. I still for the life of me can’t quite understand where the cult thing has come from,” he told Sky News.
He added: “There were lots of people in the first century who didn’t believe I was the Messiah and were offended by what I said – and in fact I died at the hands of some of them.
“Unfortunately they didn’t learn love either and my suggestion is, even if you don’t believe I am Jesus, at least learn how to love.”
Mary Luck admits her family have not supported her relationship with Mr Miller.
She said: “My parents became very afraid simply because AJ was saying he was Jesus publicly and by their own admission they feared for what my life would be like.
“They also had some fundamental issues with looking at emotions which is core to these teachings.” Through DVDs, the internet and in person AJ Miller is spreading his word globally.
Whether he is the Messiah or just make believe, there are plenty of people who are prepared to listen.