Ekiti State Teachers Cursed Fayose For Giving Them Tiny Christmas Chickens

It was an interesting sight yesterday as primary and secondary school teachers from all over Ekiti State converged on Agric Olope area of Ado-Ekiti to collect the chickens that Governor Ayodele Fayose promised them for Christmas.
As early as 9am, teachers had started to throng the distribution venue to collect their chickens. When Governor Fayose arrived with a deluge of security aides in his traditional short-sleeve T-shirt, he threw victory punch to the air with the supporters he brought in buses responding with shouts of Oshoko.
The whole stretch of Agric Olope of
Ajilosun was jam-packed with the vehicles of the teachers that came from all over the state. The other end of Agric Olope by Matthew Street was a no-go area as teachers, who parked their cars far away from the distribution venue, trekked long
distances.
By noon, the picture of what would emerge at the end of the day had started to take shape as teachers went home with pigeon-size chickens cursing the governor in unprintable words. Some left in annoyance shouting “Sai Buhari, Sai Buhari”.
When the governor saw the anger of the teachers as they shoved and shoved in an uncontrollable scramble to collect their chickens, he offered to decentralize the distribution, but the teachers had already lost their patience, as they left in anger.
One teacher from Omuo-Ekiti lamented that he had spent about N800 to travel to Ado-Ekiti to collect a chicken that sells for less than N1000. One of the friends of a teacher who parked his car about 400 metres away from the venue with a green Nissan Primera lamented ever wasting his time “for this nonsense”. The man was more angry as the car of his friend broke down with bad brake cable where they parked. As at 6:30pm, mechanics were still battling to bring the car to life.
Surrounded by four other teachers, one of them said that he knew the whole exercise would be a fluke immediately he learnt that teachers in both primary and secondary schools were lumped together for the exercise.
“I know it is going to be like this. More than half of the teachers won’t get the fowls. Elomirin a kari so dele loni leyin ugba kaan ba ruun kankan gba leyin kaan duro titi titi ninu orirun (some people will go dejected back home empty-handed after waiting long hours in the sun).
As teachers moved enmasse in anger from the place, the governor pleaded that they should come back, promising that he would add N2 million to be shared among the teachers. This angered the teachers the more, as they started shouting:”How much will one teacher get if N2m is shared among more than 18,000 teachers in both primary and secondary schools?”
As The Trumpeter tried to take the
photographs of the teachers as they were leaving in anger, some covered their faces to avoid being photographed.
To everybody’s chagrin, Fayose on his way to the office abruptly stopped at Matthew street junction along Ajilsun and sat at a phone vendor booth making phone calls while traffic built up heavily along the road.

[Reported By The Trumpeter]

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FIFA World Cup 2014: Memo To Nigerian Wives & Girlfriends

Here is a hilarious warning message for all Nigerian women from their husbands and boyfriends ahead of the upcoming FIFA World cup 2014 event in Brazil.

Dear Sweethearts,

The FIFA World Cup is close by, so let us give you a few rules that will help all of us during the months of June and July:

1. The remote control belongs to me for the whole month.

2. Tell all your friends not to give birth or wed on any of the days during the World Cup because we won’t go!

3. You support the teams that I support.

4. No talking during the game, wait for half-time or end of the game.

5. Repeats and highlights are as good as the main match, so I’m gonna watch them too.

6. We can see movies/home video (no
Telemundo and African Magic) provided
actors and actresses are wearing soccer jerseys and they are in Brazil.

7. You don’t just pass in front of the TV if am watching any match, you better freeze where you are or crawl on the floor.

8. Make sure you don’t ask silly questions such as; “is this Chelsea versus England?”

9. No funny faces to my friends when they come to watch a match with me.

10. Smile every time EXCEPT when my team is Losing, OR ELSE!!!

You are warned!

Jointly signed by Husbands and Boyfriends.

By admin Posted in Funny

How Jonathan & Nigerian State Governors Escape From Boko Haram

Just came across this interesting piece that depicts the situation Nigeria is presently facing.

Boko Haram commmander, Abubakar Shekau has demanded for a 2-day urgent meeting with the President, his Vice and the 36 Governors in the country. It will start on Sunday and end on Monday. The meeting is to hold in their Camp in the dreaded forest.

Government reaction: President Goodluck Jonathan has directed that all the Governors should be present in the meeting as he wont be able to be there because he has an urgent meeting in Paris. Oga Jona escapes.

Governor Amaechi called Fashola today and told him that he is travelling tomorrow and that he wont be back until Tuesday,
Fashola said he should call another person because he himself is already on his way to England to see the Queen.

Oshiomole called Uduaghan to tell him that he is travelling to Senegal and he will come back on Tuesday,
but Uduaghan said I was about calling you to tell you that am on my way to UK Prison to see my Oga, Ibori.

When Okorocha called Vice President Sambo to ask how the meeting will be, Sambo said: my brother I am not feeling fine o and I wont feel fine until Tuesday evening…
Okorocha said ehyaa, I just want to tell you that I am in One Airport in Ghana, and many of the Governors are also here with me, we are on a queue to get a ticket for night flight. Please we are all coming back to Nigeria on Tuesday evening.

Ajimobi got to the Airport trying to jet out, he saw Aregbesola booking for a ticket to move with the next flight.

When Ibikunle Amosun called Kayode Fayemi to tell him dat he wont be able to come to the meeting because he wants to go to Portugal, Kayode Fayemi told him: I am presently in India, in fact Mimiko is also here wit me, we wont be back until Tuesday evening…
When Okorocha called the Vice president to ask how d meeting will be, Sambo said i am not feeling fine and i wont feel fine until tuesday evening……..Okorocha said ehyaa, i just want to tell you that I am in One Airport in Ghana, and the other 35 Governors are also here with us, we are on a queue to get a ticket for night flight…….we are all coming back on Tuesday evening.

Fellow Nigerians: who will now attend to this Boko Haram and save Nigeria from this madness?

“President Jonathan Looking Lonely & Sad At Nuclear Security Summit” Nigerians Poke Fun At GEJ

The above photo of President Goodluck Jonathan
looking very sad and lonely at the Nuclear Security summit 2014 that held in Hague, Netherlands yesterday is the subject of an ongoing viral joke.
Reuben Abati, the spokesman for President Jonathan shared this photo yesterday on Twitter and within 5 minutes, Nigerians have started poking fun at their ‘unpopular’ president.

Read some reactions from Nigerians to the above
photo of Jonathan looking sad in Hague yesterday:

See another photo from the summit below

What do you expect… He has so many things on his mind.

Madam and two kids dey for Abuja, aunty Patience dey for his neck….Boko Haram dey for his ya**h….everything is out of order in his home country….

Heya! Oga Jonathan take heart o….e no easy abeg.

Chei! Nigerians are funny people.

Justin Bieber’s Obese Fan Loses Half Body Weight To Get Noticed(Bryanna Debinder)

Meet 20-year-old Bryanna Debinder, a super fan of music star Justin Bieber who recently embarked on a serious weight loss journey in order to get him to notice her.
Within a year, Bryanna who used to weight 120kg has lost 53kg.
She got her motivation when she noticed Justin Bieber pulling skinny girls to dance with him on the stage.
Every time I saw him pull up a pretty, slim girl on stage, I just thought: ‘that should be me’,’ Everyone deserves a chance to be noticed by the person they love, and I’m his biggest fan. I just wanted to be the girl he sang to.’ – said Bryanna
Pennsylvania-based Bryanna Debinder said she had spent several hours messaging Justin Bieber on Twitter with no response.
So, Bryanna cut out all of the junk foods from her diet, and instead filled her fridge with fruit and vegetables. She also watched YouTube exercise videos and did sit-ups at home. In just 12 months, she
lost an impressive 53kg and has dropped seven dress sizes to a UK size 8.
What an amazing transformation….Hope she can maintain it.

Video: 3 Girls Who Steal Panties At Accra Mall In Ghana Sued Shop Owner

You must be living under a stone if you haven’t heard about the 3 girls who allegedly stole panties and female stuff at Mr. Price at the Accra Mall and were humiliated by the shop owners by letting them kneel down and crawl outside of the mall.
They told their story to MyJoyOnline.Com, Listen to the audio below. Shaken and subdued, three ladies humiliated for shoplifting at the Accra Shopping Mall have said they are considering legal action against
their oppressors at Mr. Price for the inhuman
treatment meted out to them.
The ladies [names withheld] admitted to shoplifting after they paid Ghc150 for some clothes but said they preferred being handed over to the police to going through the experience one of them described as “equal to lynching”.
Narrating the incident, the ladies said they had gone to Mr. Price to buy some clothes but took more than they paid for after trying them on.
Caught and faced with embarrassment, they
apologised to the staff but their plea for forgiveness was not taken. Their offer to go home and get money to pay was also not taken.
A good Samaritan’s attempt to pay for them was shot down by Miss Roberta, who warned him not to come any close to their shop.
They said Miss Roberta, a manager at Mr.Price made them kneel down for at least 25 minutes before barking orders at them to crawl amidst verbal and physical abuse.
She is said to have also encouraged others to join in smacking them as they crawled four minutes from the shop to the exit
“If anything they should have sent us to the police station..it’s not fair,” one of th traumatized ladies said.
The ladies — two SHS graduates and one a student of the University of Ghana — said they were traumatized and are huddled together at home since last night.
They have not stepped out of the house since the incident which occurred Monday evening.
According to them, a man claiming to be a policeman apologized to them and asked them not to report the incident to the police station.
A lawyer, Samson Ayenini is backing their decision to sue arguing “the question of the presumption of innocence of any person charged with a criminal offence is so
fundamental, it found its way into our constitution”.
He said despite their admission to shoplifting, “unless and until a court finds them guilty or they have pleaded guilty to a court, they are supposed to be presumed innocent”.
The incident is “most embarrassing” not only to the shop but Ghana’s image as a law-governed country, the lawyer noted.
He condemned on-lookers who did nothing to prevent a glaring abuse of the rights of the young ladies.

[Source: MyJoyOnline]

Pictures: FRSC Officer Beats Man Who Refused To Give Bribe In Akure

The Federal Road Safety Corps, FRSC officer who battered an innocent man for refusing to give bribe in Akure yesterday has been identified. His name is OM Oladele.
The FRSC official in question allegedly asked a lady identified as Motun O for bribe but she turned him down.
Her colleague who was with her in the car who accused the officer of bribery and corruption was later manhandled.

Read what Motun O said on Twitter yesterday “Manhandling poor Nigerians because of bribery! I refuse to bribe them but they had to beat my colleague that spoke up”
@FRSCNigeria officer Oladele in Akure”

As an evidence against the corrupt Federal Road Safety Corps official, all the footage of what transpired was caught live on camera.
FRSC officials are the most corrupt in this country. I experienced the same thing on Lagos-Ibadan expressway last year.
When I told them my brother is a General with evidence, they immediately told me to go.
Please Mimiko get to work….All we want is justice.

By admin Posted in Funny

Iyanya Lied About Lenovo Endorsement Deal “We Don’t Know Him” – Lenovo SA

Star singer Onoyum Mbuk aka Iyanya has been accused of lying after he reportedly told fans on Instagram of his new endorsement deal with Chinese gadget manufacturing company, Lenovo.

4 days ago, the singer said ““New Product!!! New
Ambassador!!! Brand Ambassador!!!! Lenovo!!!! Iyanya!!!! Task Direct 2014 Started #triplemg’.”

To further mess him up, his manager Ubi Franklin confirmed the fake endorsement deal.

‘It’s true, it cost about N150 to N170 million and the duration is for 24 months’” – said Ubi Franklin
A call made to Lenovo headquarter in South Africa revealed the opposite. Lenovo SA transferred the call to a representative in Nigeria named Olumide who said he doesn’t have a clue who Iyanya is.
‘I can’t really say on that. I don’t know anything; I don’t know who he is. Honestly, I don’t know anything, maybe you should call him and ask him yourself’, Olumide told our correspondent
over the telephone.”
If care is not taken, this singer might lose his endorsement deals in Nigeria.

Nigerian Anti Gay Law Turns Comedy: Watch Tatafo’s Rib Cracking Joke

Popular Nigerian comedienne Helen Paul popularly called Tatafo has turned the controversial anti same sex marriage law into a joke.
Tatafo on radio sublimely cracks a joke on the recent ban on same-sex marriage and association in Nigeria by President Goodluck Jonathan. The petit television presenter does it in the most hilarious fashion.

Watch the video HERE

By admin Posted in Funny

Dog Arrested In Lagos Nigeria For Biting Banker’s Penis

Lagos State police command have arrested a dog for biting a banker’s penis in Ikotun. The incident happened at Idowu Anisere street.
The dog’s owner, 31-year-old Adebowale Gabriel has been charged at Ejigbo Magistrate court for neglecting his pet.
The dog was specifically charged with assault, while Gabriel was charged with negligence under the Criminal Code.
The arrest of the dog and Gabriel followed a complaint by the victim, Mr. Simon Anwam, to the police in Ikotun division that when he was walking on the street, the dog pounced on him and inflicted deep injury on his penis.
Narrating what happened, Anwam who hails from Akwa Ibom State, southsouth Nigeria, said when he was returning home from work and he had almost reached his house, he met Gabriel on the way holding his dog with chain.
He said he was surprised when the dog jumped on him and bit his penis before he could be rescued from it.
Anwam narrated that when he discovered that his trousers was stained with blood, he quickly rushed home to check his penis and discovered that he had been severely injured.
He complained that after the incident, he could not urinate easily.
He explained that when he attempted to urinate, blood flowed from his penis and he had to urinate with the aid of a pipe.
Anwam said when he went to a private hospital for treatment he was referred to the General Hospital on Lagos Island.
Following the incident, the police in Ikotun division arrested the dog Gabriel.
Confirming the incident, Gabriel said he was surprised the way his dog attacked Anwam.
He said he was holding the dog with chain when the dog suddenly attacked the bank worker who was passing by.
Gabriel said he had pleaded with Anwam and his wife about the Incident and he has also offered to pay for his medical treatment before the police charged him to court.
When the dog and Gabriel were about to be arraigned, their plea was not taken.
The prosecutor, Mr Nicholas Atumonye, told the court that the parties involved in the matter wanted to settle out of court.
He told the court that the complainant had written a letter of withdrawal.
This dog is very wicked. So he can’t bite any other part except his manhood.
I pity this man’s condition ooo.

By admin Posted in Funny

Morgan Freeman’s Photo Used For Nelson Mandela’s Tribute In India

The biggest mistake in billboard advert history has been spotted in India.
An Indian billboard ad used to pay tribute to late South African President, Nelson Mandela has a different photo in it.
The memorial placed in Coimbatore city displayed the photo of Hollywood actor Morgan Freeman instead of Nelson Mandela.

The condolence message on the Indian billboard reads:

“We should be proud that we were part of an era when they lived”

Morgan Freeman played the role of Nelson Mandela in 2009 movie titled Invictus which is probably the cause of the mistake.

A clothing merchant who sponsored the billboard has been notified.
This is probably the biggest mistake in billboard advertising.
There is little resemblance between Morgan Freeman and late Nelson Mandela.
The Hollywood actor won’t find this funny at all.

Go And Die T-Shirt Out: Governor Oshiomhole & Abused Widow Honoured By Alaba Boys

Just like the viral oga at the top t-shirt that rocked the nation few months ago, another t-shirt is now trending, and it’s the one and only “ Go and Die t-shirt”
This was inspired by Edo state Governor Adams Oshiomhole and his oppressed widow, Mrs Joy Ifijeh who is now his special assistant.
My people no dull abeg make sure you’re being asked to ‘go and die‘ by a politician so you can smile to the bank after resurrection…LOL

Alaba boys never disappoint… kudos to them.

By admin Posted in Funny

Married Woman Lives With Boyfriend & Husband In The Same House

The happy madam pictured above is Maria Butzki, a married mother of two who is doing the unthinkable.
33-year-old Maria now lives with her husband, Paul Butzki and her boyfriend, Paul Gruman under the same roof.
Maria claims when she got married, she didn’t realise how much she’d missed him until they start living together. Also she couldn’t imagine living without her husband.
So she made a deal with both men by coming up with what she called a “perfect solution”.
Maria moved Peter Gruman into her family home in Barking,East London.
As we speak the trio now live together with two children under the same roof as a happy family…

In a recent interview, Maria, a real estate agent said:
“People might think it’s weird but I love both men and couldn’t choose between them,”
“Peter is a great guy. When Maria first had the affair with him I was just heartbroken. But as I got to know him, I realised we have so much in common. We both adore fishing, and he’s like
a surrogate dad to the kids.”

Hear what her boyfriend, Peter Gruman, a construction site manager said about the relationship:
“We all get on so well. It doesn’t feel as if I’m sharing Maria.
There’s no jealousy …it feels as if we area team.”

On how they make love, hear Maria talk:

“The three of us never share a bed. Although I have a sexual relationship with each man, that side is kept very private. If Paul
is out, then Peter and I might make love, and vice-versa. But both men turn a blind eye and we never discuss it with one another.”
The trio started living together in 2012 after 3 years of Maria’s secret relationship with her boyfriend.
Peter, the boyfriend sleeps in the living room while Paul, the husband and Maria sleep in the bedroom upstairs with one of their daughters.

Lord have mercy which kind relationship is this…..
How can a normal man share his wife with another man.
The end is near o.

“TB Joshua’s Sticker Saved My House From Burning” – Tee Mac

Ex-President of The Performing Musicians Association of Nigeria, PMAN, Mr Tee Mac is out with a new story aimed at promoting controversial prophet TB Joshua.
In a recent interview, Tee Mac who praised the god of Prophet TB Joshua claims his whole house would have been destroyed if not for the presence of TB Joshua’s sticker that quenched the fire (LMAO).
The popular flutist said the other rooms in his Lagos mansion got burnt except for the room with TB Joshua’s sticker on the door.

Hear Tee Mac in his own words:

“I was in Abuja when the fire occurred, the fire burnt other rooms but stopped at the front of my bedroom suite where TB Joshua’s sticker was. TB Joshua saved my house from burning further”

Contrary to Tee Mac’s claim, sources from Lagos claim the fire was put out by the timely intervention of firemen on October 30th, 2013 around 1am. The fire was caused by power fluctuation in one of his air conditioners.

Naija people will soon start rushing there to buy TB Joshua’s sticker for protection.

The god of TB Joshua must possess fire quenching ability… LOL

By admin Posted in Funny

Man Marries A Tree In Argentina: Peruvian Actor Richard Torres Makes History

Have you read the story of a woman who married a bridge and a man who married his pet goat? Well another bizarre story has surfaced from the capital city of Argentina.
Richard Torres, a Peruvian star actor and an environmental activist made history on Sunday November 10th, 2013 when he married a tree in front of family and friends.
The popular environmental activist came to the wedding dressed in a white suit and a blue hat as he carried a flower to give his tree bride in one of the popular parks in Buenos Aires,Argentina yesterday.
The tree husband read vows and gave a ring to his tree bride just like a normal wedding.
He even gave the tree a kiss and a big hug to keep the wedding ceremony real.
Richard Torres said the wedding was intended to draw international attention to environmental problems.
While this is the actor’s first ecological event outside of Peru, he said it’s the start of his championing of the environment and plans to take his unique style of activism to countries throughout Latin America.

Life full of wonders…. what a weird wedding!

Richard Torres kissing his bride

Richard Torres kissing his bride

Nigerian Soldier Punishes Man For Not Using Pedestrian Bridge

The ongoing enforcement law in Lagos is getting serious each passing day.
The above scene is that of a corporately dressed man who shunned the Pedestrian Bridge and used the expressway at his own risk.
He was caught by a military officer who in turn disciplined him for not obeying the law.
Who is to be blamed, the military man or the pedestrian who is playing with his life?

By admin Posted in Funny

Photos: Bangkok University In Thailand Finds Solution To Exam Malpractice

In order to combat exam malpractice, Bangkok University in Thailand has introduced new strategy.
This is how student write their examination. The students are now required to wear paper helmet during mid-term examination to prevent cheating.
It’s even worst for the guys… check out their own box helmet below

LMAO…sweat go kill person for exam hall o.

By admin Posted in Funny

Nigerian Police Officer, ACP Who Grabbed Lady’s Breast Claims Photo Is Fake

You must have come across this very controversial picture of a Nigerian Police officer, ACP who grabbed a lady’s breast going viral online.
The photo has reached the desk of the Nigeria Police Force and the senior officer in question has been queried.
After a series of investigation, NPF concluded that the photo is fake.
NPF claims it was fabricated using Adobe Photoshop in order to mislead the public.
On their official Facebook page, the Assistant Commissioner of Police in question was quoted saying, “I don’t know this lady. I never took the picture with her.”However, the authorities did not
name the police officer nor give the details of the command where he is serving.
“Other citizens of this country are encouraged to pose for snapshots with our uniformed officers if they so desire, just as it is done worldwide. What we discourage is public display of affection by our uniformed officers,” it said.
Days after the picture appeared online, it has provoked outrage and intense condemnation from many Nigerians who are clueless about the whole thing.
Claiming to be policemen, some people wrote on the police Facebook page that the picture was the handiwork of mischief makers, who were clearly determined to drag the name of the security agency in mud.
They said that no uniformed officer of the rank of ACP would be so careless as to pose for a photograph in such a compromising position with a lady.
One Oluwasegun Samuel-Alalade commented on the wall of the Facebook page. “I know it is not real. Even a fresh recruit undergoing training at the Police College will not do such a thing, not to mention a top ranking officer. The Nigeria Police Force should kindly disregard the photograph, “ he wrote.
Also Kabiesy Ojeabulu wrote, “Photoshop or no Photoshop, all I have to say is that the Inspector General of Police, Mohammed Abubakar, should always investigate issues before taking actions. It appears that a large section of the general public does not like the police. So they fabricate anything to tarnish our image. God help us all.”
But this photo looks real to me and that lady resembles a very popular Nollywood actress who recently dumped her lover.
Over to you guys, take a closer look at the above photo, is it real or fake?

By admin Posted in Funny

How To Pose Like Nicki Minaj: The Most Bizarre 2013 Twitter Trend

The latest trend going like a virus on Twitter is the hashtag #poselikenicki.
In case you don’t know, it’s a big trend on Twitter where folks share photos of themselves posing like Nicki Minaj.
These funny people (both men and women) went extra mile to look like the singer.
Check out some bizarre photos below:
See these yeye people who get plenty time on their side.
Describe their looks in one word.

By admin Posted in Funny